Feasts of Christmas: Fennel Gratin and Larson's Kringler

I had a lot to be thankful for and happy about this Christmas.

My brother and his fiancee were home from Nashville. The crazy snowstorm kept my sister's family in town so we had all the little kids with us on Christmas Eve. My dad drew me for gift exchange this year and gave me this amazing collection of herbs and spices - many from his own garden - and a handmade rack that my niece kept calling my "spice ladder." But one of my very favorite parts of my holiday came on Christmas Eve morning when it was just me and some food.

First I got started making Rachel Larson's famed Almond Kringler. It's a three layer job but it's actually very quick to put together and everyone loves it.

Layer One: Shortbread-like crust. Layer Two: Fluffy, eggy, baked custard-y filling.


Layer Three: Simple icing and sprinkle of sliced almonds.


In honor of my friend Siri I baked this whilst listening to Ella's Swingin' Christmas.

Find the full recipe at The Transplanted Baker.

Next, I turned my thoughts to my loving, vegetarian sister. I knew our Christmas spread would be sausage heavy and thought she should not miss out on having something indulgent just because she doesn't groove on the meats. So I sliced up some potatoes and simmered vegetable stock, a bit of heavy cream, and two whole cloves of garlic:


And got to some more layerin'


Potatoes, leeks, and fennel with pecorino romano, the stock/cream mixture and breadcrumbs. I don't think I need to tell you it was delicious.


Fennel Gratin - makes one 9 x 13 pan

Simmer in a heavy pot over low heat:
1 can (12 oz or a little less) vegetable stock
1/2 cup half & half, heavy cream, or 2% milk
Pinch of nutmeg
Fresh black pepper
Two peeled whole cloves of garlic (discard when you remove mixture from heat)

Prepare:
6 large yukon gold or large red potatoes, peeled
1 large leek, cleaned and chopped
1 large bulb of fennel, quartered and sliced
Keep some fennel fronds for garnish

Grate:
Heaping cup of pecorino romano cheese

In a buttered 9 x 13 baking dish layer potatoes (salt and pepper them), then fennel, and sprinkle with leeks. Cover with half of the cream mixture and sprinkle with cheese. Repeat layering and finish with cheese and a handful of breadcrumbs.

Bake covered with foil at 375 for about 45 minutes. Liquid should be nearly completely absorbed. Uncover and bake for another 15 minutes. Garnish with fennel fronds.

To be continued...with Ginger-Beet soup.

This Is The Kind of News I Am Talking About

The kind that puts us just that much closer to monkeys.

It's also the kind that is potentially terrifying.

Kind of like the story I read a couple days ago that contained this gem of news reporting:

"He dropped his pants and there were 10 cans taped to his legs. Each can contained a lizard."

That full story can be found here.

Does this post make you feel like I am trying to force you to have fun with Science?

Considering Tumblr

You guys probably already knew all of this but...
Everything is Terrible
A Unicorn's Unicorn
Sarah Haskins
F U Penguin
Unnecessary Quotes
New York Review of Books Personal Ads
Famous Authors Narrate the Funny Pages
It's my current Best of 'Net.
That last one is because I used to read Fred Basset aloud to my sister, not because I am turning into the kind of person who sends in captions for New Yorker cartoons.

And THAT is an h/t to Liz.

Baba Ghanoush

Challah, HOLLERRRR

I am feeling very robbed of fall.
I look forward to it all year. It is the only thing that makes the living-inside-of-a-mouth feeling of summer and constant inconvenience of winter tolerable. And even though I know it is ALWAYS a fleeting season, this year seems to be an extreme example. No sooner did I purchase fall tights in peacock, mustard, and wine (see my sister's wedding palette ) than did the snow begin to fall. But I can barely call it snow. It is something much worse: WINTRY MIX.

Anyway, in order to get my fill of fall I visited Afton Apple Orchard and smashed it all into a one day event. The day was absolutely perfect and involved hay rides, pumpkin picking, apple donuts, hot cider, and a petting zoo. Some quality time with this llama kind of made up for the rest of the week:


And the apples seemed to be right at their peak:



I had plans to make either apple or pumpkin butter with all the goods I had collected, but after considering how long this process would actually take and weighed it out against the fact that I wanted pumpkin butter RIGHT AWAY I went ahead and purchased some in the delightful country store. It tastes like the very essence of pumpkin pie and on bread right out of the oven it is like the ambrosia of autumn.

So I set to work on baking up a couple of loaves of sweet, eggy challah. It would make more sense if this post had an apple recipe, I know. One will follow to be sure.

Challah Recipe from THE SILVER PALATE COOKBOOK - makes 2 loaves

2 cups milk
1/3 cup white sugar
1 stick plus 1 Tbsp. unsalted butter
2 packages active dry yeast (I but mine in bulk so this equals about 9 Tbsp.)
4 eggs (room temp)
2 tsp salt
6 cups AP flour
1/2 cup cornmeal
1 Tbsp cold water

Bring milk, sugar, and butter to a boil. Remove mixture from heat and let it come to lukewarm for proofing your yeast. Add yeast to the mixture and wait about ten minutes until it's foamy on the top. Beat three of the eggs with the salt and add that to the milk, sugar, butter, and yeast. Add 5 cups of flour, one at a time and mix thoroughly until a sticky dough forms. Scatter 1 additional cup flour onto your work surface and knead dough until it's smooth and elastic.

Wash and dry your mixing bowl and coat the inside with an even layer of butter before plopping the dough inside. Cover the top with a damp towel and allow the dough to rise in the bowl until it has tripled in size (about 2 hours).

Punch the dough down and divide in half. Cut each half into three equal parts and roll each third into a long snake. Braid each loaf and tuck the ends underneath like so:

Mine were a little bit skinny, but on the second rise they puffed up a bit.

Cover the braided loaves with a damp towel and allow them to rise another hour or so.
Preheat oven to 350 and make an egg wash with water and one egg. Paint each loaf generously with egg wash and sprinkle with poppy seeds if you have them. I did not.
But they still turned out quite nicely:


I have one loaf left for making french toast this weekend and ate the other loaf with some potato leek soup with bacon, which did not photograph well.

Keeping these piefingers crossed for a resurrection of real fall, you know with the leaves and everything...

Congratulations in Order

My sister's wedding was this past weekend and it presented two particular challenges for me:
1. Holding it together during the ceremony (which did NOT happen)
2. Making a vegetarian, gluten-free main dish for the rehearsal dinner
I thought, very briefly, about doing something casserole-y with rice flour or with rice pasta but this was not really the time for experimentation. This was the time for making something pretty.

I sort of fused the recipes found here and here and added an extra layer of cheese for good measure. But you could do this with just about anything in your CSA box as long as you have a springform pan and enough time to let the torte rest and express all the excess water in the veggies.

Roasted Vegetable Torte - Adapted from Gourmet and Ina Garten, serves 6
6 cloves of garlic thinly sliced
1 medium eggplant, cut into rounds
4 bell peppers, any color, sliced in half and seeded
1 large red onion, cut into thick rings
2 yellow squash, cut on the diagonal
2 green zucchini, cut on the diagonal
2 Tbsp. red or balsamic vinegar
Zest of one lemon
About 1/2 cup mascarpone cheese
2 Tbsp. milk
About 1 cup shredded parmigano reggiano
About 1/2 cup finely chopped basil
Good sea salt
Fresh ground pepper
Several Tbsp. very good olive oil (I used some that was infused with porcini mushrooms)

Heat oven to 350 and toss pepper halves with salt, pepper, and olive oil. On a foil covered baking sheet, place peppers cut side down and roast until they are soft and slightly charred (about 40 minutes).

Heat 2 Tbsp. oil over low heat and cook garlic until soft. Turn heat up to medium and add rounds of eggplant in a single layer, turning once, and cooking about 5 minutes total. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.

Add more oil to the pan if needed (eggplant will absorb the most) and cook yellow squash and zucchini in the same manner.

Turn the heat down to medium low and add slices of onion to the pan with the vinegar. Cook until onions have carmelized and vinegar is evaporated (about 18 minutes)

Mix zest of the lemon with mascarpone cheese and thin with milk until it is a spreadable consistency.

Now it's time for STACKIN'

Spray a 9 inch springform pan (lip side down) with olive oil and place a layer of slightly overlapping eggplant in the bottom. Then cover with a bit of chopped basil and the parm cheese, thusly:

Then the yellow squash, with the cheese and basil:

Then a layer of peppers:

Spread the layer of mascarpone cheese over the pepper layer with a rubber spatula. When the onions have come to room temp, pile those on top. Like so:

And finally the zucchini is the top layer. I arranged mine like a starburst:

Then you cover the whole shebang in plastic wrap and place a plate just inside the springform ring. Place it in a larger, edged baking dish and weight it with three 15 oz. cans of something in the fridge overnight. You may have to drain the liquid at least once to keep it from overflowing.

Release the outside of the springform but keep it on the bottom plate part for serving. It's way too hard to slide off and after all that stacking, you don't want to risk ruining it by doing that. Trust.

Everyone Looks Great in Cakelight

The Last of The Season

Our State Fair is a Great State Fair

Pictures, as promised.





I had these when I was six. I contemplated buying a replacement pair...

SO blase about cookies at the fair. The fair is for SAVORY. Well...except for this:

Well, At Least These Are Easy...

I went to the Great Minnesota Get Together yesterday (pictures to follow from the exhibition of cakes, breads, and even gluten free cookies) and indulged in the following:
Australian Battered Potatoes
A HUGE cone of cotton candy
Cheese Curds
Fresh Lemonade
A waffle fry wrapped hot dog (which, by the way, is not as good as a pronto pup OR just a regular hot dog)

...and I could have done with a little more, to be honest. But after passing both the slab of bacon on a stick booth and the guy in the merchandise mart who just has to do garlic chopping demos ALL DAY LONG, I wondered (at the risk of sounding like Carrie Bradshaw): what is the grossest food to spend all day every day cooking - at least fair wise?

Turns out that the Texas state fair has something on us and it is this.

And it also turns out that GUESS WHO already makes them?

Power Tower

Raspberry Royale, Cookies & Cream, and Carrot Cake cupcakes at Dan & Kelly's wedding

Double Down Doubles Up (Your Cholesterol)

I absolutely could not believe this was for real. It's more than the McRib. More than that "breakfast" sandwich made of fried chicken and two biscuits. With the Double Down, meat truly is the new bread.

Read all about it in the L.A. Times article

Netflix Fail

I genuinely appreciate most of the recommendations Netflix makes for me. Right now, based on recent activity, they are spot on with reducing me to my affinity for Showbiz Sitcoms, Quirky Movies Featuring a Strong Female Lead, and Campy Independent Comedies. What I can't get on board with are the choices in the category Critically Acclaimed Witty Movies.

I guess when I filled out my member profile I put in my D.O.B. as 9/11/39. I should also mention Rosemary's Baby made the cut for CAWM.

Bits and Bobs

Barefoot Blogging, Kinda

As I write this I can't even keep the edge of my laptop stabilized on my stomach because I am way way way too full and might barf if any more pressure is applied to that area. But I was inspired by my Facebook quiz result for "Which Food Network Personality Are You?" and decided I wanted to make something that Ina would give her stamp of approval. It's a little out of season but tonight I went for...

Italian Wedding Soup - serves probably 8 people

For the meatballs:
1 lb ground turkey
1/2 lb mild Italian sausage (chicken, turkey, or pork)
3/4 cup bread crumbs
1 egg
2 tsp minced garlic
3 tbsp finely chopped parsley
generous pinch nutmeg
1 tsp salt
1 tsp white pepper

For the soup:
1 tbsp olive oil
1 whole chopped yellow or white onion
3 chopped carrots
2 stalks chopped celery
About 6 cups chicken stock
About 1 cup small shaped pasta or rice (I used orzo)
Few springs fresh thyme
Several leaves of fresh basil
1 small bunch fresh spinach
Salt and pepper to taste
Squeeze of fresh lemon juice

To make the meatballs, mix all ingredients until incorporated. Dip your hands in cold water and make a million bite sized meatballs. Brown the meatballs over medium heat but don't completely cook through since the meatballs will finish cooking in the boiling broth in the fashion of a dumpling.

Meanwhile chop onion, carrots, and celery and cook in olive oil until soft. Season with salt and pepper and then pour in three cups of broth and bring to a boil. Then add uncooked pasta or rice and all the meatballs. Cover with the remaining three cups of broth and add herbs and roughly chopped spinach. Cook until spinach is wilted and finish with a big squeeze of lemon or splash of white wine.

For Locals

Just two days left on this, but I am sure you can find some time for pizza and beer. Pizza and beer always find time for YOU.

It may be easier to print it out from here

Rant/Rave - I Thought This Was Supposed To Be Easy

So I think I mentioned awhile back that I planned to take on Omnomicon's recipe for lemon meringue cupcakes. If you actually just went to the link - you will see how cute hers are. They are like little golden caps atop some sort of helpful forest friend whose mom is an acorn and dad is a pine marten. Well mine didn't turn out so well:

These are kind of a three part deal where you make each element and then stack it all together like a Napoleon. The cake part was simple enough, but didn't really rise at all. It did come out nice and spongy and made for a good base - but I would recommend doubling the cake batter part of the recipe.

The second part is the lemon curd, which was easy, and which turned out very nicely, and which made a return appearance in my kitchen this weekend when I had to make a layered birthday cake on short notice.

But it was part three, the meringue part, that seemed to do me in. I am still not sure where it went wrong. My stiff peaks seemed fine:


And I somewhat carefully traced the shape of the cupcake liners onto the wax paper before plopping down the meringue mixture:


But as soon as I pulled them out of the oven, they went from puffy and light golden to sticky shriveled messes in a matter of seconds. Up until that point the only meringue I ever made was on top of a pie and not baked separately, so I wonder if the baking sheet had something to do with it or what. I think I read somewhere you are supposed to leave your oven door open when making meringues so maybe that was it. Whatever the case, they still tasted okay but will definitely not be a go to recipe for me. That is, unless, I get some meringue coaching.

Oh my friend took these pictures which is why they are so, so much better than the ones I usually post.

For Britta

Favorite New Salad

Now that the warm summer months are upon us, I have a feeling I will be doing less posting on baked stuff (though I still do want to make these lemon meringue cupcakes and maybe move more in the direction of foods that will not require you to heat up the house.

I am now growing my own lettuce on my porch and so I was inspired to make a side salad to compliment the cumin-lime-cinnamon grilled pork and hot sauce grilled potatoes we ate last night. For me the salad ended up being the star and I know I will eat it with this lovely delicate lettuce I am now growing, for the remainder of the summer.

It was inspired by a heartier and fattier version I had at Sapor that was made with spinach, fresh corn, chunks of avocado, a buttermilk-based dressing, and topped with a soft poached egg that was then rolled in panko and deep-fried. You cut the egg open and the yolk really added to the depth of the dressing. I also love a salad with hot and cold components.

I lightened up my version quite a bit and it was still very satisfying. TRY IT.

1 large head bibb and mixed baby lettuces
2 small or one large avocado
about a cup of fresh sweet corn (grilled and cut off the cob would be amazing - but I used canned and it was still good)
small bunch chopped cilantro
small bunch chopped scallions

Dressing:
1 cup plain nonfat yogurt
2 T apple cider vinegar
juice of half a lime plus zest if you like it sour
1 T ground coriander seeds
1 tsp. celery seed or celery salt
1/2 tsp. cayenne pepper
generous pinch salt
several turns of fresh black pepper

Dress the greens with enough dressing so it is coated but not weighed down. Add corn and avocado to the top. I really think the fresh fresh lettuce is what made this salad so tasty. Find some hydroponic greens if you don't have your own.

I ate leftovers of this today with cold roasted chicken. VG.

Sent in With the Subject Line "Boobscape"

What's the Holdup, Sis?

This is mostly just so my mom and sister can see this amazing follow-up to the first Sweet Secrets commercial I posted, but I think you can all enjoy this brush that turns into a bed on SOME level - RIGHT?

I'm thinking this might turn into a series because I have been laughing about Kitchen Littles all day. Particularly the first line (maybe the only line) of the jingle that goes "just like Mom's only little...KITCHEN LITTLES!"

Fat Galaxy

Two weeks ago I was asked to create some sort of sweet treat for a co-worker's birthday. Wanting to make it kind of a personal endeavor I tried to figure out how I could incorporate all the things I know that he likes. The list is short:
Star Trek/Battlestar Galactica, caffeine, PHP programming, and candy.

At least there are a couple of things in there that I could use. With the help of the lady who writes this blog I decided to make....

Milky Way Cupcakes (get it???) - Makes 24, adapted from Kelly's Pink Apron, Adapted from Buttercup Bakes at Home

For the cupcakes:
5 or 6 2.05 oz (regular sized) classic Milky Way candy bars, cut up
2 sticks unsalted butter, softened and divided
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 large eggs, at room temperature
1 1/4 cups buttermilk

For the frosting:
3 sticks unsalted butter, softened
4 tablespoons milk
20 or so ounces semisweet chocolate, melted and cooled to lukewarm
2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 tablespoons or more depending on your affection for nougat
3 cups (or slightly more) confectioners' sugar

Garnish:
Little piece of Milky Way bar for each cupcake.

Special equipment:
Piping bag

My favorite part of this recipe is the very first step: melt a stick of butter in with the candy bars.


Next, in a small bowl, whisk together the flour and baking soda, powder, and salt.

Set aside.

In a large bowl, cream the sugar and the remaining stick of the butter on medium speed of an electric mixer until fluffy, about 1 to 2 minutes.

Add the eggs one at a time, beating until well incorporated.

Add the dry ingredients alternating with the buttermilk, beginning and ending with the flour mixture. Be careful not to overmix.

Stir in the melted candy (which should still be warm) and mix until marbleized.

Spoon the batter into the cups to about two-thirds full.

Bake for 20 to 22 minutes, or until the tops spring back when lightly touched and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let the cupcakes cool in the pans for 10 minutes. Remove from the pans and cool completely on a wire rack.

For the frosting, beat the butter in a large bowl until creamy, about 2 to 3 minutes. Add the milk slowly and blend until smooth. Add the melted chocolate and beat well. Add the vanilla and beat another minute or so. Gradually add the sugar to taste and beat until of desired consistency. Frost cupcakes once cool.

Load the frosting into your piping bag and with an even steady hand, squeeze out line of frosting around the perimeter of the cupcake and work your way inward in an elliptical motion so as to mimic the shape of a GALAXY.



You can do this recipe with really any chocolate candy bar. These were overall too sweet for my taste and very, very messy. But people at work liked them.

Off the Record

This is obviously in no way related to cooking or baking but today some of my co-workers stumbled upon a site called Ghost of the Doll. I am endlessly grateful that it brought me back to one of my best beloved toys: KEYPERS. If you were a girl in the 1980s, you probably had one of these. They made ladybugs, snails, kangaroos, penguins, and most importantly, swans, that had secret compartments somewhere on their body that you could store stuff in and lock up with a plastic key. My friend Sara noted that a lot of little girl toys of that era involved some sort of deception or concealment. I guess that's what little girls like but even so these are just....well read the premise

Really? No one at the toy store wanted a kitten but they DID want a parrot? A parrot with paws? A parrot with paws that is clearly a cat? These toys also purr when you hug them.

Anyway the KEYPER that I had was a swan. This swan.

The only thing left to say after that is this

Thanks for reminding me again and again how beautiful my jewelry is Dad!
It's true that this ENORMOUS hair clip that folds out into a baby is so discreet, you would never know that it's hair clip that folds out into a baby.

Dads don't know anything.

Berries for Sal

A bug has been going around my office.

I have been feeling it a little bit too but I thought I would be nice and bring some baked treats for people to have with coffee this AM. Unfortunately, Sara already had the idea to bring in doughnut holes from Sarah Jane's bakery so no one really wants a muffin.

That's cool, I had to do SOMEthing with my blackberries anyway.

Cardamom Muffins with Blackberries and Almond - Makes 12

Sift together in your dry ingredient bowl:
2 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
roughly a teaspoon of freshly ground green cardamom pods

Whisk together in your wet ingredient bowl:
2 whole large eggs
1 cup milk
between 4-6 tablespoons of melted butter depending on WHEN you will be eating these. If you plan to serve them right out of the oven, you can use just 4 tablespoons of butter or vegetable oil. If you plan to serve them the day after, add an additional two tablespoons to ensure they won't be dry.
1 1/2 teaspoons almond extract
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
2 tablespoons of sour cream (optional)

In two shifts, add wet ingredients to dry ingredients being VERY CAREFUL to not overmix. Muffins will be tough, dry, and "tunneled" if you try to beat the batter until it's smooth. Muffin batter should be a little lumpy.

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees and fill muffin cups a little less than 2/3 full of batter. Place about a tablespoon of roughly chopped fresh blackberries (or whatever you have - and you can leave them whole, depending on the size of the berry), in the middle of the cup and then cover with an additional spoonful of batter. If you add berries to the batter in the way you would add chocolate chips to cookie dough, you will end up with greyish muffins. Truly unappetizing.

Sprinkle the very top of the muffin with raw slivered almonds and cardamom sugar.

Bake about 25 minutes. Take an Airborne.

Side Bag

This is really only minimally food-related but was so funny to me that I had to post it somewheres.

Yesterday, my sister performed a beautiful piece with the Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra. Many members of our family were in attendance including my nephew Henry. He came to the show with an old Kodak camera bag slung across his body and so we had this little exchange right before going into the concert hall.

Me: "Hey Hen, did you bring a camera? We should take some pictures."
Henry (sly): "Ummm...not really."

He digs around in there for a little bit and produces a doughnut, which he informs me he is saving for intermission. I really like his style.

Later over dinner his mother told me he has been calling this camera case his "side bag" and she believes it to be Indiana Jones inspired. I don't think Indy had cinnamon-sugar in his pouch but whatever I LOVE the interpretation.

Rant - Buttercream Frosting is Difficult

It took me nearly twice the amount of time to make and deal with this frosting as it did to make and bake the cake part AND buy the carrier that totes two dozen cupcakes. I have always wanted one of these things and I will tell you that if you show up at a party with this carrier in hand, whatever you have inside will undoubtedly go to the highest bidder. Or drunkest, as it were.

I opted to make the chocolate variety so the first step was to melt chocolate. Fine.
Then you make simple syrup and add cream of tartar. Fine.
It gets somewhat complicated hereafter. I am still finding bits of chocolate and egg underneath my counters and on my clothes.

You have to beat eggs constantly in a stainless steel bowl in a water bath until they hit 120 then pour in syrup in a steady stream beating constantly. Then remove from heat and beat mixture constantly until in comes to room temp. Finally you add in 3 sticks of butter one tablespoon at a time at perfect temperature so that mixture is neither too thick or too runny. If either situation occurs you have to refrigerate or re-cook. I did both after I added in the chocolate because when I tried to pipe the frosting onto the cupcakes, the moisture separated from the fat and looked like total shit.

Everyone said it tasted really good, but there must be an easier way to achieve this result. Perhaps I do have to invest in a candy thermometer.

A Baker's Hats Off to YUM!

Dudes, this place is kind of out of the way for most people and, not to sound like some crabby hipster, but I do generally prefer kind of Mom and Pop bakeries instead of these cutesy ones...but this place has good food (excellent fries, simple delicious sandwiches) and SUPER good frosting.

Check it out.

Shockingly, Martha Has No Sense of Humor

What is a Jamaican Dessert?

Two dear friends of mine recently started a supper club and asked me to join. The deal is supposed to be that once a month they pick a theme and then one person is assigned to drinks, one to appetizers, one to side, one to entree, and one to dessert. So far we have only done it once and the theme they picked was Jamaica and I drew dessert. Even after doing a decent amount of research, I was still kind of at a loss because I needed something that would be, at least, somewhat portable. Most of the suggestions for traditional Jamaican desserts were some type of fruitcake that looked really unappealing or homemade ice creams with fresh fruit. The latter sounded great but I have no churner, and the availability of fresh tropical fruits is mediocre at best in the NE Rainbow.

In the end, I took a bunch of ingredients that are stereotypically associated with Jamaica and made the following cake which had too much rum in it...but it was pretty. I'll retrieve a picture to insert later. In the meantime try:

Like A Carrot Cake Only Drunker - serves 8

4 egg whites
2 cups flour
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
pinch salt
1/2 cup shortening
1 3/4 cup white sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
1 cup Meyers rum (originally I used 1 1/2 cups and that was way too much, but whatever floats your boat. you could use light rum too.)
8 oz. fresh or canned pineapple (fresh probably tastes better but canned adds more moisture)
1/3 cup coconut, flaked, plus extra for toasting

Frosting:
8 oz. cream cheese (softened)
1 cup white sugar
Pinch salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1 1/2 cups whipped heavy cream


Preheat oven to 350, grease and flour two round cake pans.
Separate four egg whites into a bowl.
Sift 2 cups flour, 1 tsp. powder, ½ tsp soda and pinch salt.
Beat ½ cup shortening, 1 ¾ cup of sugar, 2 tsp. vanilla.
Pour rum and 8 oz pineapple chunks and some coconut into wet ingredients.
Then add egg whites, and flour mixture. Beat.

Bake cakes for 25-30 minutes until tops become golden. Cool and invert.

Put 1/3 of the frosting in between the two cake layers and finish off the top and sides of the cake with the remaining 2/3.



Toast coconut at 250 for about 10 minutes until golden and sprinkle atop the cake.

Note: You could definitely substitute butter for the shortening in this recipe, but I figured it had plenty of animal fat as it was and I had some Crisco on hand.

Next month I am doing Lebanese appetizers for supper club and am certainly open to suggestions.

Thumble Bumble: Shortbread is My Favorite

My mother, on more than one occasion, has gotten her fingers all twisted up in the beaters of an electric mixer. I don't remember the details of each incident, but I do remember thinking that it would be a)extremely painful and b)extremely difficult to do. After last night, I have a much deeper appreciation of the reality/logistics of a AND b. Whilst scraping down the sides of my mixing bowl with a rubber spatula, my beaters somehow caught the flappy end of the scraper and VERY RAPIDLY traveled up the shaft of the tool (tee hee) to my dough covered fingers. I kind of knocked the whole operation over which immediately unplugged my mixer (this is the one benefit to the very stupid/precarious location of electrical outlets in my kitchen) and then grabbed my hand and did a Peter Griffin-style-soothing-gasp of air through my back molars until the pain subsided. I did not yell obscenities or even shed a tear - just went back to the very important business of thumbprinting.

It's good to know that aside from my bubble butt, superstraight hair, generally good ear, and an appreciation of Neil Young, I have also inherited from my parents the ability to disregard an injury and remain calm. It's true. I once saw my mom cut off the tip of her pinkie finger, look at it quizzically and then ask my brother for hockey tape. Similarly, I witnessed my dad using his cordless drill to install a light fixture pause and ask me "do you smell something burn-y?" and then subsequently realize he had drilled his own finger. SICK. His reaction? "Cool! My flesh is all twisted."

Twisted indeed.

Anyway I powered through to make a few dozen of what I can safely call my all-time favorite cookies: Thumbprints. My mom was not so big on MAKING shortbread, but she always brought me Lorna Doones when she gave blood and would often put them in my lunch. Such a good lady. My mom. Not Lorna. This shortbread cookie cuts a little bit of the richness by plopping some jam in the middle. JAM.

THUMBPRINTS - makes 3-4 dozen, adapted from The Joy of Baking
2 sticks softened unsalted butter
1/4 cup white sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar, packed
2 tsp. good vanilla
2 eggs separated
2 cups flour
1/4 tsp. salt
many toasted, crushed nuts (I like pecans)
1 cup good quality raspberry jam

Cream together butter and sugars until light and add in egg yolks one at a time. Pour in vanilla and mix. Sift together salt and flour. Add to wet ingredients one cup at a time. Mix until incorporated but do not overbeat. Try not to mangle your own hand.

Refrigerate dough for 30 minutes.

Reserve egg whites and beat slightly.

Roll dough into cheez puff sized balls, dip in egg wash and roll in crushed nuts. Place them on a cookie sheet and make a depression with your thumb in the center. Carefully fill the depression with jam and bake at 350 for about 12 minutes.

Receive compliments graciously.

Rave - Macaroons Are Easy

Much like watching Puppy Bowl V on Animal Planet, automatic bill payment, and the 1977 hit single by The Commodores, macaroons are easy. Like, ridiculously easy.

Ian decided he wanted some last night so my piefinger was called upon. I used Ina Garten's recipe, but we were amazed to find that pretty much every macaroon recipe out there involves just three or four ingredients. And, unlike most of the things I bake, it can be easily adapted for your vegan friends and relations because you can use coconut milk and (update from my sister) dates! I also found a couple vegan recipes that use a mashed banana but I don't know...doesn't really seem like a macaroon to me. Maybe a new thing. A Nanaroon.

Basic Macaroons - From Ina Garten
1 14 oz can of sweetened condensed milk
1 14 oz bag of flaked coconut
1 tsp. good vanilla or almond extract (I grated in the zest of one orange for added interest)
2 egg whites
1/4 tsp salt


Take yer condensed milk and mix well with yer bag of coconut.
Splash in vanilla and zest and mix.
In a separate bowl whip egg whites with salt until medium stiff.
Fold whipped whites into the coconut, milk, and extract mixture.

Drop balls of dough onto parchment paper lined baking sheet and bake in a 325 oven for 20 to 25 minutes.

These are so chewy and good with just a slight meringue puff at the bottom. Dip in melted chocolate if you like. This is especially good if you add the orange zest.

*The image above is from this recipe.

Rant: That Stairwell at Work That Always Smells Like an Everything Bagel

So there is this stairwell in my office building that pretty much always smells like an everything bagel. I couldn't figure out what angle to take on this rant. There are two avenues. One - just, why? Two - it always makes me hungry. I think I have to go with the latter.

The thing is, even though it is the result of people's boots dragging in snow that melts and releases stench from concrete, this smell makes me hungry every morning. I make a point to have breakfast every morning and yet once I open the door to stairwell A and follow the guy who wears those terrible round-the-back-of-your-head fleece earmuffs up the steps, I can't do anything until I get that bagel.

Our building IS next to an antique shop...and I know that sometimes old brass instruments smell kind of nasty and garlicky...if that's what is making me hungry I think I have reached a new low. Like the time I found that piece of a tortilla chip in my belly button.

Office Cookies: Cleaning Out the Jar Edition

You know what movie is a terrible, terrible movie? Failure to Launch. It's on TNT right now and I am only watching it because the movie on ABC Family is worse and I have to do SOMEthing while I am waiting for my cookies to bake. If I have to see Sarah Jessica Parker meaningfully clutch her decolletage, or perform that "endearing" high-pitched squeal in one more production...OH wait, never mind, Mr. Mom is on the CW now. THAT is FILM.

My company moved in to a new suite on Friday and I thought that I should honor our first day of actually having real desks by cleaning out my baking jar. Do you have one of these? Some sort of container that has tied-off bags of various types of candy chips or coconut with like a quarter cup of leftover product in them? Well I was getting sick of looking at mine so I threw these cookies together. I am sure they already exist elsewhere in the baking sphere and are probably called a "turtle" something or other, but for my purposes tonight they are...

MISTER MOMS - yields about 2 dozen medium sized cookies

1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1/2 cup unsalted butter
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla, almond, or orange extract
1 1/2 cups sifted AP flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/4 cup to 1/2 cups dark chocolate chips or 3 oz. baking chocolate, chopped
1/4 cup to 1/2 cups caramel or peanut butter chips
1/4 cup to 1/2 cups toasted chopped pecans
1 tsp orange zest (optional)

Okay so sift together flour, soda, and salt in a small bowl. Cream butter and the two kinds of sugar in a larger bowl until light. Add the egg and mix well. Throw in your extract. Incorporate dry ingredients in three parts and mix well. Stir in nuts and chips with a rubber spatula.

Here I am going to add a special equipment note. If you don't have one of these, get one.

This small ice cream scoop with the little release mechanism is oh so helpful, and while two spoons still work, I appreciate the efficiency and uniformity the scoop offers. Plus, it is cute.

(If you are a meat friend or family member, you may notice from these pictures that I have succeeded in growing out like three of my nails. I have found that they are also helpful tools. Oh, a meat friend is someone you know in real life, like in the flesh as opposed to just virtually. It's a term my sister uses frequently and I think it's really catching on.)

The base of this dough (meaning everything minus the chips and nuts) is a great starting point for making up a cookie that uses your excess coconut, dried fruit, candied ginger and zests, nuts, etc. My mom makes a version with orange zest, dried cranberries, chocolate chips, and oats. Everyone loves them.

I let you know how these ones go over. They have certainly...OMG Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants is on Lifetime. Gotta go.

Pumpiefinger

I started a new job last week and am trying to ingratiate myself to all my new co-workers by establishing myself as the office Piefinger. It's totally a cheap trick, but I think it's working. I whipped up this pumpkin bread, left it in the break room, and people were swinging by my desk all morning. Even my boss approached me with a hunk of it in his hand and said "For my birthday..." which made me laugh really hard as an opening line.

Here's the recipe:
Easy, Perfect, Pumpkin Bread - adapted from Joy of Cooking

Whisk together:
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 T fresh grated ginger root
1 T fresh grated orange peel
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1/4 tsp. ground cloves
1/4 tsp. baking powder

Combine in another bowl:
1/3 cup milk
1 tsp. vanilla or other extract

In a large bowl beat:
6 T unsalted butter
and cream in 1 cup white sugar
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
2 eggs (add one at a time)
1 cup (plus) pumpkin puree

Alternate adding in the flour mixture and the milk mixture and try to do it in thirds. Be careful not to overmix. Feel free to stir in nuts or dried fruit before spreading evenly in a loaf pan. Bake for about an hour at 350. Enjoy the way your house smells.

Sorry I don't have a picture but it was gone by the time I thought to take one.