What's the Holdup, Sis?

This is mostly just so my mom and sister can see this amazing follow-up to the first Sweet Secrets commercial I posted, but I think you can all enjoy this brush that turns into a bed on SOME level - RIGHT?

I'm thinking this might turn into a series because I have been laughing about Kitchen Littles all day. Particularly the first line (maybe the only line) of the jingle that goes "just like Mom's only little...KITCHEN LITTLES!"

Fat Galaxy

Two weeks ago I was asked to create some sort of sweet treat for a co-worker's birthday. Wanting to make it kind of a personal endeavor I tried to figure out how I could incorporate all the things I know that he likes. The list is short:
Star Trek/Battlestar Galactica, caffeine, PHP programming, and candy.

At least there are a couple of things in there that I could use. With the help of the lady who writes this blog I decided to make....

Milky Way Cupcakes (get it???) - Makes 24, adapted from Kelly's Pink Apron, Adapted from Buttercup Bakes at Home

For the cupcakes:
5 or 6 2.05 oz (regular sized) classic Milky Way candy bars, cut up
2 sticks unsalted butter, softened and divided
2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
3 large eggs, at room temperature
1 1/4 cups buttermilk

For the frosting:
3 sticks unsalted butter, softened
4 tablespoons milk
20 or so ounces semisweet chocolate, melted and cooled to lukewarm
2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 tablespoons or more depending on your affection for nougat
3 cups (or slightly more) confectioners' sugar

Garnish:
Little piece of Milky Way bar for each cupcake.

Special equipment:
Piping bag

My favorite part of this recipe is the very first step: melt a stick of butter in with the candy bars.


Next, in a small bowl, whisk together the flour and baking soda, powder, and salt.

Set aside.

In a large bowl, cream the sugar and the remaining stick of the butter on medium speed of an electric mixer until fluffy, about 1 to 2 minutes.

Add the eggs one at a time, beating until well incorporated.

Add the dry ingredients alternating with the buttermilk, beginning and ending with the flour mixture. Be careful not to overmix.

Stir in the melted candy (which should still be warm) and mix until marbleized.

Spoon the batter into the cups to about two-thirds full.

Bake for 20 to 22 minutes, or until the tops spring back when lightly touched and a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let the cupcakes cool in the pans for 10 minutes. Remove from the pans and cool completely on a wire rack.

For the frosting, beat the butter in a large bowl until creamy, about 2 to 3 minutes. Add the milk slowly and blend until smooth. Add the melted chocolate and beat well. Add the vanilla and beat another minute or so. Gradually add the sugar to taste and beat until of desired consistency. Frost cupcakes once cool.

Load the frosting into your piping bag and with an even steady hand, squeeze out line of frosting around the perimeter of the cupcake and work your way inward in an elliptical motion so as to mimic the shape of a GALAXY.



You can do this recipe with really any chocolate candy bar. These were overall too sweet for my taste and very, very messy. But people at work liked them.

Off the Record

This is obviously in no way related to cooking or baking but today some of my co-workers stumbled upon a site called Ghost of the Doll. I am endlessly grateful that it brought me back to one of my best beloved toys: KEYPERS. If you were a girl in the 1980s, you probably had one of these. They made ladybugs, snails, kangaroos, penguins, and most importantly, swans, that had secret compartments somewhere on their body that you could store stuff in and lock up with a plastic key. My friend Sara noted that a lot of little girl toys of that era involved some sort of deception or concealment. I guess that's what little girls like but even so these are just....well read the premise

Really? No one at the toy store wanted a kitten but they DID want a parrot? A parrot with paws? A parrot with paws that is clearly a cat? These toys also purr when you hug them.

Anyway the KEYPER that I had was a swan. This swan.

The only thing left to say after that is this

Thanks for reminding me again and again how beautiful my jewelry is Dad!
It's true that this ENORMOUS hair clip that folds out into a baby is so discreet, you would never know that it's hair clip that folds out into a baby.

Dads don't know anything.

Berries for Sal

A bug has been going around my office.

I have been feeling it a little bit too but I thought I would be nice and bring some baked treats for people to have with coffee this AM. Unfortunately, Sara already had the idea to bring in doughnut holes from Sarah Jane's bakery so no one really wants a muffin.

That's cool, I had to do SOMEthing with my blackberries anyway.

Cardamom Muffins with Blackberries and Almond - Makes 12

Sift together in your dry ingredient bowl:
2 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
roughly a teaspoon of freshly ground green cardamom pods

Whisk together in your wet ingredient bowl:
2 whole large eggs
1 cup milk
between 4-6 tablespoons of melted butter depending on WHEN you will be eating these. If you plan to serve them right out of the oven, you can use just 4 tablespoons of butter or vegetable oil. If you plan to serve them the day after, add an additional two tablespoons to ensure they won't be dry.
1 1/2 teaspoons almond extract
3/4 cup packed light brown sugar
2 tablespoons of sour cream (optional)

In two shifts, add wet ingredients to dry ingredients being VERY CAREFUL to not overmix. Muffins will be tough, dry, and "tunneled" if you try to beat the batter until it's smooth. Muffin batter should be a little lumpy.

Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees and fill muffin cups a little less than 2/3 full of batter. Place about a tablespoon of roughly chopped fresh blackberries (or whatever you have - and you can leave them whole, depending on the size of the berry), in the middle of the cup and then cover with an additional spoonful of batter. If you add berries to the batter in the way you would add chocolate chips to cookie dough, you will end up with greyish muffins. Truly unappetizing.

Sprinkle the very top of the muffin with raw slivered almonds and cardamom sugar.

Bake about 25 minutes. Take an Airborne.

Side Bag

This is really only minimally food-related but was so funny to me that I had to post it somewheres.

Yesterday, my sister performed a beautiful piece with the Metropolitan Symphony Orchestra. Many members of our family were in attendance including my nephew Henry. He came to the show with an old Kodak camera bag slung across his body and so we had this little exchange right before going into the concert hall.

Me: "Hey Hen, did you bring a camera? We should take some pictures."
Henry (sly): "Ummm...not really."

He digs around in there for a little bit and produces a doughnut, which he informs me he is saving for intermission. I really like his style.

Later over dinner his mother told me he has been calling this camera case his "side bag" and she believes it to be Indiana Jones inspired. I don't think Indy had cinnamon-sugar in his pouch but whatever I LOVE the interpretation.

Rant - Buttercream Frosting is Difficult

It took me nearly twice the amount of time to make and deal with this frosting as it did to make and bake the cake part AND buy the carrier that totes two dozen cupcakes. I have always wanted one of these things and I will tell you that if you show up at a party with this carrier in hand, whatever you have inside will undoubtedly go to the highest bidder. Or drunkest, as it were.

I opted to make the chocolate variety so the first step was to melt chocolate. Fine.
Then you make simple syrup and add cream of tartar. Fine.
It gets somewhat complicated hereafter. I am still finding bits of chocolate and egg underneath my counters and on my clothes.

You have to beat eggs constantly in a stainless steel bowl in a water bath until they hit 120 then pour in syrup in a steady stream beating constantly. Then remove from heat and beat mixture constantly until in comes to room temp. Finally you add in 3 sticks of butter one tablespoon at a time at perfect temperature so that mixture is neither too thick or too runny. If either situation occurs you have to refrigerate or re-cook. I did both after I added in the chocolate because when I tried to pipe the frosting onto the cupcakes, the moisture separated from the fat and looked like total shit.

Everyone said it tasted really good, but there must be an easier way to achieve this result. Perhaps I do have to invest in a candy thermometer.

A Baker's Hats Off to YUM!

Dudes, this place is kind of out of the way for most people and, not to sound like some crabby hipster, but I do generally prefer kind of Mom and Pop bakeries instead of these cutesy ones...but this place has good food (excellent fries, simple delicious sandwiches) and SUPER good frosting.

Check it out.