Out of the Bag

I have really fallen behind in my posting this month. I am pretty sure the only people that actually CARE about my negligence are my real-life friends. The people that I talk to daily and see between one and three times a week. Sometimes more depending on what is on TV. Regardless, I am going to try and step up my game for the remainder of August which should be made infinitely easier now that my beloved new compy has finally arrived.

Oh, don't worry. I didn't actually get it in purple.

This past weekend, I trekked down IO-WAY to visit my old college roommate. She had a whole slew of crap for me including my Christmas present from last year which was a cast iron fondue set and was, indeed, much too heavy to ship. But the best thing, the thing that I didn't even know I missed or needed, was an old purse that she had been holding ransom for well over three years. She refused to send it to me until I came down to visit her so above and beyond spending some quality time with her, this was my reward.

Here is a list of all the crap that had been lying dormant that I found inside the bag:
- 64 cents and approximately a dollar's worth of South African rand. Well according to 2005 exchange rates anyway...
- A Subway Club card (a program now defunct) just one stamp short of a free sandwich
- The St. Paul Public Library card that once belonged to my eleven-year-old charge when I was a nanny. I used hers to check out a bunch of stuff for myself that summer so I wouldn't have to pay the late fees off of mine.
- A receipt for a purchase I made (by way of personal check of all things) for an item listed as "ICE TECHNO TRIP'D OUT PIN". I have absolutely no idea what this was/is or why I spent $8.80 on it. Were we attending a rave? The date on this receipt is 2/28/05.
- My old boyfriend's business card which he had made up for his summer-long landscaping venture. I remember thinking how cool and professional and responsible he was for having business cards and NOT realizing how easy it is to just print some up. It's not like you have to register as David Winters, Esquire in order to go to Kinko's. Oh well, it was probably to his benefit how much that impressed me.
- An old fishing license.
- A ticket stub from The Streets concert at The Fine Line from 06/04/04. I did not attend this concert.
- Jeff Cincoski's senior picture wherein he is riding in a tiny Radio Flyer wagon. On the back it reads "I'm sorry for trying to spread all those horrible lies about you."
- A business card from a man named G. James Olsen. As a job title he has written with bullets under his name "Author. Pneumatologist. Provocateur."
He also should have listed "Drunk" as my friend Laura and I found him wasted in the middle of the day at the University Club. He was wearing a polo shirt with a gold tiger embroidered on the pocket and sizzled at us through his teeth to get our attention. We had a cocktail with him and his son (who, incidentally, was in a terrible band that played at my college)and after his son left, he told us in a hushed tone that he was a witch.
- My Couch Potato License, cleverly issued to Emma Roids.
- A receipt from a grocery store in Decorah where I inexplicably spent $2.76 and got a dozen eggs, a quart of milk, 2 lbs. of carrots, and a bunch of parsley. That seems wrong, right?

I also had two old IDs in there. One with a fabulous picture that barely looks like me and one wherein I am 17, wearing a turtleneck, and have clearly not yet discovered tweezers. It's a time I still cherish, no matter how unfortunate.