The Fairy Feller's Master-Stroke

Two weeks ago I saw Mama Mia! I know that sentence makes it look like I am still so excited about my theater-going venture that I feel compelled to use an exclamation point, but if you are in the know, watch Bravo, or have ever looked at the back of an ABBA album, you understand that this is not the case. Yes, I did go to the movie opening night, and yes it was the same night that The Dark Knight was released, and yes I enjoyed a meal at The Olive Garden beforehand, but this does not, in fact, make me a fanatic. That said, I did cry a little and deemed it a delightful summer romp that did a great job of not taking itself too seriously. I also thought Pierce Brosnan was terribly miscast.

The movie made me feel many things:
1. Amanda Seyfried will no longer be known as Karen from Mean Girls
2. Amanda Seyfried has an amazing rack and made a beautiful movie bride
3. I want to have an adult daughter
4. I want to have an inn in Greece

But mostly, I was struck by what a great idea it is to create a show out of music that already exists and started brainstorming about how I could cash in on it. All you have to do is write the story that frames the music and it doesn't even have to be very good or even particularly feasible. (As my friends pointed out, Meryl and Amanda could have probably just taken a LOOK at the potential fathers to, at the very least, narrow it down to two.) I have decided that the music of Queen is the perfect fit. It's already pre-chorally-arranged and the tone of almost all the music lends itself to explosive dance numbers. This way, casting lots of extras to fill the stage will be a snap.

I'm thinking it's the story of one man. He's a staunch and savvy business man. The opening provides exposition on his life and is set to "Under Pressure." Somehow he develops a meth habit (we could go on a D.A.R.E. tour. They still have D.A.R.E. right?) that gets out of control. The soundtrack to his downward spiral is "Don't Stop Me Now." Somewhere along the line he falls for the wrong girl. She is glamorous and rich and older than him. She might be played by Diane von Furstenburg (she doesn't have to sing and can provide costumes). He sings "Killer Queen" whilst lounging around her impossibly luxe apartment. He steals money from her. Then...SOMEthing happens...
Anyway he ends up in the gutter. Big company number: "Somebody to Love". He has a turnaround and the show closes with a blissful and rousing rendition of "You're My Best Friend." The audience joins in. Awards are won.

There are still details and logistics to figure out of course, but I assume one of my sisters would do the choreography, the other would do the vocal direction, and my brother could get together and lead the instrumentalists. I would be the visionary so all we need are rights to the music and financial backing. I plan to unveil it in my elementary school's rec center summer of 2011. Tickets are a $100 bucks (roughly) and we will hold a meat raffle at intermission. There is a possibility you will be badly burned or lose an eye during the performance. FROM HOW REAL YOUR TEARS ARE.