Tut Tut, Looks Like Rain

I really don't like my Tuesday/Friday morning bus driver. He takes too many liberties with the little microphone up front. For example he likes to tell us on Tuesday that we are "almost halfway through the week folks....there's only a couple more of those work-a-days left and you already put Monday behind you! It's Tuesday, folks, TUESDAY!" I just want to listen to CSNY and read the back section of my alumni magazine in peace so that I can make note of what CRAZY names people who are like two years younger than me have decided to name their second son. That I could do a whole post on.

Anyway, Takes-up-two-seats (which is the public transport Indian, sorry, Indigenous Peoples, name I assigned to her) LOVES him. I am not such a big fan of Takes-up-two-seats, because, as her name suggests, she is kind of inconsiderate. She is also EXTREMELY chatty, but only with the driver and the driver alone. This is another thing that bugs me about TUTS: stop distracting the damn driver! I know he is probably tired of announcing the same streets in the same order every day but I'd still like to arrive at the oft-puke-ridden corner of Washington and Hennepin in a single piece.

For the last three days TUTS has been describing to our different drivers, all the OTHER drivers that she doesn't like and whom she "may have reported". Each driver, all other passengers, and probably TUTS herself know that these threats are empty but I still don't appreciate the frequency and the vehemence with which she continues to threaten this. On my last day of riding with her (she will soon have her truck back, she tells the driver), I plan to present TUTS with an oversized tote bag in which she may transport the eight other small bags which she usually carries and which spill out across, at the very least, two of the bench seats intended for elderly and disabled people. This is my gift to future riders and drivers alike, but still doesn't ensure that she won't still sit in the middle of the bench and cross her legs towards the front of the bus, continuing to fulfill her destiny and TAKE UP TWO SEATS.

She makes me miss the Jimmy Lemon Lady.